Blogging

I wrote a little ode to blogging:

Blogging
It's like Facebook
But longer
And no-one
will ever read
what you are
saying.

I think it has a certain charm. Pulitzer prize please?

Gross buds.

After analysing the tastes in my mouth over the last few mornings I've made an amazing scientific breakthrough. Basically I noted that in my mouth there is a particular area which tastes very, very unpleasant, or gross (in layman's terms). 

I noted that different areas of the tongue have different taste buds attuned to certain tastes i.e. salt, sweet etc. 

However, none of these areas of the tongue are attuned to the taste of grossness. 

As such, I've decided to correct this missing piece of information on one diagram of taste bud zones of the tongue in the hope that soon, all tongue scientists throughout the world will follow suit. 

 If you don't believe me, then neglect to brush your teeth one night, in the name of scientific research of course, and then in the morning force your tongue backwards into the back and sides of your mouth, you'll see what I'm talking about. 

And then feel sad that your mouth could taste so bad.

Shorts, everyone is fond of shorts...

...except for mice and shrews and Simon Cowells (I had to, I'm sorry world).

I'm wearing shorts for the first time in about a year to go skating, because I'm fed up of spending all of my days spent mindlessly staring at a laptop screen and it's sunny. But not too sunny that I'm afraid my skin will burn, as it is predisposed to doing in anything resembling mild weather.
So, before I did finally abandon technology for the evening in pursuit of more healthy activities, I decided to blog about it. Tasty, tasty irony.

Here is a pretty accurate sketch of how liberating it felt to be in the sun in shorts:

Now try to imagine how I'd look in a kilt. It's hot right?

Wenlock the mascot.

I was just watching a video about the London 2012 Olympic torch route and on came Wenlock and Mandeville, the 2012 Olympic mascots.
Other than the obvious fact that they are ridiculous and whoever designed them should be put on a boat with the bloke who designed the logo for 2012 and shipped somewhere far, far away. I was just thinking to myself, my word, Wenlock looks so angry.

Apart from having a name that sounds like an evil fantasy wizard, just take a look at that brow, if a human had a brow like that people would avoid them on the street for fear that they were about to be assaulted.
What he essentially is, is a massive, furious eyeball atop of what appears to be a traffic cone with legs.


Just everything about them is wrong. They make me sad. 'Nuff said.

I totally think if they are allowed to use someone like Wenlock to represent the Olympics then I've got a better suggestion:

 I wonder if it is possible to put forward suggestions for a mascot to the Olympic committee, with the only justification for a late change being, "Well come on lads, it's better than anything you've designed recently".

Edit: Also, does it or does it not look like Mandeville has wet himself? Sim's mysterious blue liquid style.

Fire alarms are a lot like the rapture.

So, something awful happened this morning, we had a fire alarm at 7.30am. That wouldn't be so bad if I wasn't banking on around 3.5 hours sleep at the time, as it was it was the single most awful thing that had ever happened to me.

See, one of the joys of my accommodation block is that all the fire alarms are hooked up separately, so you can hear the first fire alarm going in the furthest block away in your dreams and your dreaming mind goes into overdrive trying to think of a way to incorporate this horrible noise into your dream. By the time the alarm gets to the next block along it wakes you up and you sit up in bed, not quite realising what is actually going on. And then finally it reaches your room and mother of god. IT. IS. HORRIBLE.

Due to our position on the ground floor, on the block closest to the fire meeting point, our corridor is always the first out and so we shuffle in our pyjamas, bleary eyed, freezing cold and alone into the adjacent car-park. We then have to wait for the block tutors to investigate the building to make sure there actually is no fire, which we all know there has never actually been in our block. This system usually takes around half an hour to complete, though when all we have to do is stand outside, huddling and putting up with each other's half-asleep grumblings, it feels like an age.

I was thinking while stood outside this morning, that a fire alarm is rather like a rapture, don't you think?
Of course the impending rapture is on all of our minds at the minute, due this Saturday as it is.
If God really did decide it was time for a good old rapture then setting off the fire alarms in every building on Earth would be a damn good way to get everyone organised and in a nice group, for easy rapturin'.

There would be a doodle. But I'm so tired right now. Give me some time to come round for my all day nap and there will be one, I swear.

Google. We need to talk.

So, I visit Youtube A LOT, probably at least 8-10 times a day, it and Facebook often get into fights over which one of them is my favourite website on the favourite website function on Chrome.

So, I signed up for Youtube long before I ever had a Blogger account and then for Blogger before Google owned everything. Then I made a different Blogger account because my old one was rubbish and congested, this one was made using a gmail account. Then when Google started to make a big deal of the fact that they did own everything, I had to connect my Youtube account with a Google account or they wouldn't let me use it and this made me angry enough.
It noticed that I used the same email address for Youtube as my old Blogger account as well as for some redundant Google account I'd never actually used and so automatically linked the three together.
So now:
I have to sign into Youtube with my Youtube username and Google account password.
When I do so it automatically, I assume through some manner of magic, signs me into my old Blogger account which it linked to my Youtube account without asking.
Then when I go to Blogger with the intention of writing on this blog it's all like "LOL...signed you in to your old blog fool"

This results in me making this face every time I try to come on this blog and have to sign out and back into a different account:

I'm pretty sure there must be an easy way to rectify this problem, but on principle I'm not going to try and figure out how. I shouldn't have to. 

Imagine a world where we all dropped our principals and just did what we had to. Sure the world would be 89% more productive and 63% more pleasant to live in. But it would be a horrible place nonetheless.

Munters' Moisture Control Services.

While in my tutorial I noticed that one of my class mates had a pen with a logo I hadn't seen before and the word 'Munters' written across it. This made me giggle to myself a little which brought me a few strange looks, given that my Inorganic tutor was currently trying his best to explain the intricacies of molecular orbital theory to us.
 If you don't know why I find this funny then maybe you should go find out about the wonderful act of "munting". 


I did a little research into it and found at that the pen in question is an advertisement for 'Munters’ Moisture Control Services', a company who supply equipment to help laboratories create certain controlled conditions, which I guess explains why a chemistry undergrad had one of their pens. Throughout their website the word "Munters" is juxtaposed next to other, rather innocuous, which leads to many hilarious (well, for me anyway) combinations e.g. "Munters offers energy-efficient products and solutions that help customers to optimize their indoor climate and thus raise productivity, quality and comfort."

I guess I just wanted to warn the good people of Munters' that they should probably change their name, in order to avoid undue embarassment, so if anyone high up in the company is reading this, YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED. You don't want all the other companies in the moisture control service industry laughing at you do you guys?

*WARNING - FOR THE UNENLIGHTENED:
 RESEARCH INTO MUNTING IS NOT FOR THE FAINT HEARTED, SO DON'T BOTHER DOING ANY IF YOU AREN'T PARTICULARLY INTERESTED IN THE ACTIVITIES OF NECROPHILIACS. YOU HAVE ALSO BEEN WARNED.*

If you aren't aware what munting is, then I shall forward you to the brilliant urban dictionary page on the matter:
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=munting

Also, I drew a little diagrammatic sketch to aid your learning.

I know what you're thinking, I should definitely consider a career in public service announcements shouldn't I?
.